The Father’s Love

Building a life of love after a violent start

Maths, English, a violent home: Justine’s childhood memories of primary school are fond, but her father’s aggression haunted her family life.

“When I was young, I used to see him beating my mother,” she says. “I used to see him coming home drunk. Those are the only childhood memories I have of my father.”

One day, he never came home. Justine’s mother struggled to meet their needs without his income, but the family were finally safe from his violence.

It was hard for Justine’s mother to provide for her children. “When I was in primary school, I’d travel home for lunch – but lunch wasn’t there,” says Justine.

Going to school hungry

Justine’s mother says, “You wouldn’t want your kids not to have something to eat. It was really a hard time for me but there was no other solution. I persevered because I had no one else to ask for help.”

But someone did notice. Pastor Paul, founder of the local Compassion project, saw that the family needed help.

“Their house was in a very bad condition,” he says. “Justine’s mother struggled with life itself, looking for a way to raise her children. They had nothing to rely on.”

Pastor Paul organised a place at the Compassion project for Justine, and the impact of the support was immediate.

“When you’re educated, lots of things can happen in your life”

“Compassion helped Justine in her studies,” says Pastor Paul, “and with medical care when she was sick. She stood out as a good student at school, she was very brilliant.”

Along with education and healthcare, Justine found friendship so strong that it felt like family.

“I thank God that I was able to get to know the Christian values and I gave my life to Christ. I got a family and friendship. Even now, I’m still connected with the students who grew up at the project. I mean it when I say that Compassion is my family.”

Freed from hunger and given the support to focus on her lessons, Justine thrived. From an early age, she knew education was essential. “Education is the key. When you’re educated, there are lots of things that happen to your life.”

Justine’s mother marvelled at her daughter’s transformation. “It brought me so much joy to see my child being raised with help from Compassion,” she says. “The project workers nurtured her, brought her to where she is now… It made me feel so relieved and truly at peace.”

Journey to forgiveness

As Justine grew from a shy and traumatised girl into a confident young woman, one wound felt as though it would never heal – the hurt that her father had caused. She found out years later that he had other families, and he never apologised or made amends for the damage he had done.

Yet the Compassion staff and Pastor Paul often listened to her story, wept with her, prayed with her, and encouraged her to forgive. Although earthly father had done more harm than good, she knew her Heavenly Father wanted nothing but good for her.

“I would say forgiveness is a journey, but because I am a Christian, I forgave him,” she says. “I know that God is my father … I never felt alone because I had that relationship with Jesus.”

“God is my Father”

Now, Justine has a family of her own and she’s determined to pass on the love that she didn’t receive from her father. She’s adopted two daughters with her husband, and they have two biological daughters too. Her desire to raise her children differently gave her the strength to forgive her father and finally put the past to rest.

The dark days of her childhood are now behind her – and Justine’s determined that her children will live in a home filled with light and life, knowing just how much they’re loved.

“I and my husband have the same story,” she says, with a smile. “He never had love from his father. I never experienced that love from my father. But our vision is to give love in abundance.

“I now work in education, with more than 500 schools in north and western Rwanda. I do the training of teachers and run clubs that impact the students. I love meeting with children and being their mentor.

“I think God did a miracle. I’m able to be employed and help my family.”