A Mother’s Heart: Caring for my Son with Autism Amidst Poverty and Prejudice

Patricia grew up neglected and vulnerable in Brazil. When she became pregnant at the age of nineteen, she considered leaving her baby in the hospital, certain she didn’t want him. Instead, God used Patricia’s son to change the whole course of her life – and to show her a depth of love she’d never imagined possible. This is her story.

A child’s broken heart

I didn’t have a childhood. My mother was addicted to alcohol and married my stepfather when she was pregnant with me. I grew up watching him beat her. He tried countless times to abuse me and my sisters. I used to sleep on the streets to avoid going home.

I felt that I had no value and that no one loved me. I lost my will to create a meaningful life. When I got pregnant at 19, the father abandoned me. I had nothing – I didn’t know what to do.

My older sister helped me rent a small house in the community when she heard I was pregnant. I managed to get a job in a bar, but they paid me less than 53 BDL (£10) a week, which wasn’t enough to live on. I ate raw noodles because I didn’t have a stove. But I didn’t ask my sister for more help, because I didn’t want to be a bigger burden.

When the time came to give birth, I decided I’d leave the baby in the hospital – I didn’t want it.

But as soon as I looked into my son’s eyes, I changed my mind. I never had a good mother, but in that moment, I decided I would be a good mother. He was my son! I finally understood what love was thanks to Weslley: I never imagined I could feel this way.

I met my husband in the bar where I used to work. He’s a good man, and so finally I have a secure family. He’s a good father for both our boys. We face every hardship together.

A heart healed by kindness

When Weslley was almost three years old, I was told about the Compassion project. I went to a workshop at the church and met Pastor Gleidson. He said he’d call me as soon as new places were available.

The day he called, I was so excited – and afraid of missing that chance – that I grabbed Weslley and ran to the project! When we got there, I found out they’d take a photo of Weslley so he could be sponsored. My son didn’t have any nice clothes; he didn’t like to smile, and he was a bit dirty because I had just taken him from playing in the backyard. Nobody will choose to sponsor a child like mine, I thought. I was so grateful to learn that the support for children starts even before a sponsor is matched.

Joining the Compassion project has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. God has used the staff and volunteers to heal my heart. I used to be angry after many bad experiences I suffered as a child. Their kindness, love and patience have meant everything to me.

They’ve changed not just Weslley’s life but mine, too. The project also gave a place to my second son, Davi, which means the world to me.

I love reading the letters my sons receive from their sponsors. When their sponsors write that they’re praying for my children, it makes me cry! It’s amazing to know that someone we’ve never met cares about us.

A heart for understanding my child’s unique world

About a year after Weslley started attending the project, the staff asked if I was aware of his condition. To be honest, I knew Weslley was different from other children – he hardly spoke and never looked me in the eye.

They suspected he might have autism. I didn’t know what that meant, but they guided me through all the steps I needed to get Weslley accurately diagnosed, including paying for various tests.

The tests confirmed Weslley is autistic and needs a high level of support. The staff have helped me to understand and enter into Weslley’s particular world. The volunteers and staff never treat Weslley as incapable – they understand both his limits and his potential. They always encourage him to learn new things and to develop autonomy.

I love hearing the stories my sons tell when they come home. My children get to enjoy activities I could never provide for them, like going to the zoo or camping. I know they’re loved by the volunteers, as I longed to be as a child.

Hearts strong enough to withstand prejudice

People are prejudiced against Weslley. They usually don’t know what autism is – just like I didn’t ten years ago. I always inform anyone meeting my family for the first time that he’s autistic because I don’t want them making jokes or looking at him strangely. People have even called him “stupid,” which breaks my heart. I do as much as I can to protect him.

Being aware of Weslley’s condition has never made me despair, though – it’s made me love him even more. He’s a special boy, and not just because he’s autistic. My connection with Weslley is special because I know God gave him to me in order to change my life – to teach me the meaning of love.

When I was a child, I felt so heartbroken that I screamed at God that I didn’t believe in Him. I wish I could go back and hold that little girl and tell her everything’s going to be OK. God is good – and He’s powerful enough to mend our hearts.

In the past, I only had pain inside me. But today I’m a proud mother willing to love her children with all her heart thanks to the support and kindness that’s been shown to me and to my whole family.

Despite the love and support of his mother and the Compassion centre, Weslley experiences many challenges and prejudices in his community. Here are some ways you could pray for Weslley and his family:

• Pray that Weslley will continue to develop more of his gifts and talents. Pray that he will be surrounded by people who’ll love him and safeguard his well-being.
• Since the pandemic, Weslley’s stepfather and mother have struggled to find formal work, which leaves the family in a continual state of instability. Pray they may soon find good jobs to be able to provide the best for their family.